1. After a summer touring out West, I arrived home in Florid with dizziness, and feeling …well…unwell. My husband suggested I go to the doctor. Nope. Not doing that! A friend who is a nurse came over and did a little checkup. I don’t remember what she said was going on but she wanted me to go to the ER. Nope! Definitely not doing that. Maybe another day went by and another nurse friend agreed about the ER. Again, I said “NO”. Being who she is, she said “well, of course this is your decision – it’s YOUR body. So, let me tell you what your choices are: You can go to the ER and have a professional see what’s going on. Or you can go to bed tonight and possibly not wake up tomorrow morning. Your choice, of course.”

So, being a person you likes to feel in control of myself, I made a choice.

This is me after being admitted to the hospital. Can’t remember getting to the ER or what happened next. I do know my doctor told me I had a ‘mitro valve prolapse’ that needed to be repaired. I was reassured that it would be a routine procedure and I would be back on my feet within a week.

Five months later, I remember almost nothing but I learned later that I had been on a ventilator, in 4 hospitals, I was finally released to go to rehab. In a wheelchair, trying to learn to use a walker. and take care of myself well enough to go home. I remember rehab. I remember visits from family and friends. My husband was a constant companion – and I heard all about the work he had done all those month, trying to keep me alive.

Oh, I had memories – but the most vivid were not actual memories of things that had happened, but memories of hallucinations I had experienced while on various drugs.  I still have those memories – I can feel them as though they were actual experiences – my husband finally convinced me that they had NOT ACTUALLY happened because I had not left the hospital in all that time.  “But what about the night we went downtown and there was a festival – you remember!  one of the nurses from the hospital had an ice cream truck!  And, we met a couple of friends from home! There was a large school building I wanted to visit but it was closed so we couldn’t go in.  Remember?”  Didn’t happen.

In rehab, I was lucid and remember my friends came to visit – sometimes bringing their dogs!  And I have strong recollections of therapy – those people were amazing.  I asked them to teach me how to get into the car so I could go for the ride to bring my son to the airport.  That was exceptional because it was getting dark and the stars came out – I was astonished because I had not seen the stars in months!

More to follow

A wonderful doctor Dr. Jeffrey Brumfeld